Pain is painful – there’s little doubt. But, there are also lessons about life to be learned in our pain if we’re truly open and willing to listen.

Failure is painful. The recent issue of Harvard Business Review is entitled, “The Failure Issue.” Inside you can read former P&G CEO A.G. Lafley say, “I think of my failures as a gift.”

For many, the last few years have been painful. For some, the pain has been the economy. For others, it’s been emotional pain or physical pain. In most circumstances, there are lessons to learn in our pain if we’re open.

Recently, I had shoulder pain – lots of it. And, the experience caused me to reflect how lessons for life surround us if we’re listening and looking. What are some lessons from my shoulder pain?

Lesson #1: Seek help.

I don’t fully understand why but many of us find it very difficult to ask for help. Is it pride? “I can do it on my own. I’m self-sufficient, thank you very much.” Or, are we fearful of the truth – what we might find out?

The pain in my shoulder had been a low-grade nuisance for about a year. And, for about that long, my wife had been suggesting I see a doctor. My verbal response was “uh huh”. My non-verbal response was “I can figure this out myself”.

Then last Christmas, we went skiing. The next day my shoulder hurt – really bad. It wasn’t because I fell or injured it. I just used it more than normal. How bad did it hurt? I couldn’t put on a coat without help. I couldn’t sleep. I stubbornly thought, “Okay, give it a couple of days and it will feel better.” It didn’t. I waited one week; then two. No change.

Finally, I listened to my wife (some of us are slow learners), gave up, and went to see the doctor.

Lesson #2: Find an expert.

I kid you not – I was with the doctor for less than two minutes before he diagnosed what was wrong and what I needed to do to heal it. I was dumb-founded. How could he do in less than two minutes what I’d been dealing with for months? Because this is expertise; this is what he does day-in and day-out. (Side note: Afterwards, another physician-friend told me he sees people with my shoulder condition two to three times per day!).

I should know better. I’m a management and marketing consultant. It’s what I do. Just like the doctor, I deal with management and marketing issues day-in and day-out. For me, many consulting challenges have much in common. And, like the doctor, I can often diagnose some of what’s wrong rather quickly.

Lesson #3: What you believe to be true may be false.

For years, I’ve heard people talk about a particular shoulder ailment. I even had a close friend have surgery to repair his shoulder problem. Then my shoulder pain became acute and I thought perhaps I had the same condition.

So, I did a Google search to learn about my shoulder rotator cup. Google’s response: “Did you mean shoulder rotator ‘cuff’”. Uh-oh.

My, my; well, that’s embarrassing. You mean for all these years (decades even) when I thought people were talking about their shoulder rotator “cup” they were actually saying “cuff”. Boy, did I feel both dumb and deaf.

The next day I had breakfast with a couple of friends and said, “You want to hear something really stupid?” I told them my “cuff” and “cup” story. They paused, looked at me, and said they also had once made the same mistake. Just like misery, stupidity loves company.

The lesson here is what we believe to be true is not always so. What I believed people had been saying for years and what I was hearing were not the same.

I’m not advocating that debilitating self-doubt permeate our lives. I am saying, though, you may not be as smart as you think you are. Like me, you could be wrong. It’s okay. If you feel stupid, well, join the crowd. There are plenty of us.

In this post, I’ve only listed three lessons. I’m sure there are more. If you’d like to add some of your own “painful” lessons, feel free to comment below and continue the conversation.